Saturday, 29 September 2018

Relationships, good and bad

Some musings from my run this morning, in no particular order so forgive me if it’s a bit rambly.
All of my running life I have had a long standing on/off relationship with an acquaintance I wish I’d never met, she is called self-doubt and regularly raises her ugly head in an effort to scupper my endeavours.  Sometimes she wins, and when this happens, plans go awry and good intentions falter and I get fed up and occasionally get as low as wanting to give up running altogether and just get fat and miserable. I loathe self-pity I don’t believe there is a place for it in our lives and most of the time I can get over the blip and put her back in the dark recesses.  The last 3 weeks I’ve had a new companion her name is consistency and I am delighted to have her in my life, it’s early days and I’m working hard at it but I think that this will be a positive relationship which we will all benefit from.  However... self doubt is a jealous bitch so she decided this week that she was going to have a go at me and see if she could push the ‘new girl’ into the background- think playground fall outs when a new kid comes to school... she rode back into my head carrying a banner with three words on it, Flat, Road, Test!  She nearly won! I was ill thinking about it at the beginning of the week and this contributed to an almost sleepless night but my new friend consistency stayed by my side and helped me pull up my ‘big girl pants’ flick her the bird and do the workouts on my program.  Self doubt hovered on the sidelines, close enough to feel her presence but the positivity from my new companion was keeping her at bay and I even contemplated entering a race to do the workout but I couldn’t find one close by, at one point I thought self doubt was going to win again, John offered to run with me to help me, but I couldn’t put him through that stress, he has enough to do getting himself fit and ready for his next big adventure.  This morning I sat for a long time watching and listening to the rain and feeling that presence on my shoulder and it was a struggle not to let her win.  She was trying to convince me that as I couldn’t do it I shouldn’t bother going out at all I should just stay in the warm and dry.  At the same Time I was chatting online with a friend who is struggling in a different way but there were analogies which struck me so I went out and I ran.  I ran the prescribed mileage, I didn’t run on the road, I ran on a familiar trail, it wasn’t flat but it was flat enough to be runnable and I ran without
walking further than I have for at least a year! This Is a big win for me.  The analogies from my chat with my friend?  In education circles there is a lot of talk about readiness for learning and about how instead of forcing children to fit into an environment or fit a particular model, we should perhaps alter the environment/change the model to suit the learning styles of children, particularly very young children.  I strongly agree with this and as a teacher would do my best to adapt teaching styles etc to suit the needs of the child - and believe me I’ve had my fair share of pupils where a lot of adaptation was required.  Today, with apologies to my coach, I adapted to suit my needs, I altered the environment and I had a successful run.  I finished it feeling, happy with consistency by my side and self doubt well and truly put back in the corner.  Tomorrow is another day, but every day we can keep self doubt at bay is a win and I will gladly take it!  Work at the good relationships, nurture them and everyone learns and grows, stifle the bad relationships and keep them in the past.  (Big hugs to a brave wee soldier called Archie who is fighting his own battles just now but with help from the people he has good relationships with he will win of that I am sure).

Chamonix - good for the soul!

It's been a few months since I've updated my blog, and seeing friends' photos from Chamonix this past week has prompted me to write a wee bit about our last trip out there.  As we prepare for the next one...

Last year, John and I headed out a few days before UTMB week and we spent 3 days fastpacking on the first section of the UTMB route.  We left our suitcases for the following week with the lovely Bob and Gail Allison and after lunch/beer with them, Karen and George, we headed off on the bus to Courmayeur and our first overnight stop.  Early start, hills aplenty and views to die for, another fab overnight stop in Arnouva and repeat.  By the end of the third day in Champex Lac I knew I couldn't manage a 4th as I was very tired (annoyingly so - but the reason became clear when I got home!) We got the train from Martigny to Chamonix and what a fabulous journey that was!  Way up high then down through awesome gorges and forests etc.  We picked our cases up and checked into our apartment soon to be followed by Amanda and Julie.  A fabulous race week ensued.  Amanda successfully conquered CCC and Julie conquered all sorts of fears to hike up to Le Lac Blanc amongs other places!

So to this summer... John was successful in getting a place in TDS so we decided that we would head out and do another bit of the TMB route to give him some climbing/hiking practice and us both a well earned break.  By the time we left I had also got a race place in the new 'baby' race, the MCC so this gave me a good feel for my race route too.  Again we had lots of climbing, amazing views and spectacular weather, we discovered that it was Marathon de Mont Blanc and it's associated races that week, so John did the VK and I did a 10km race.  Our friend Gayle was doing the 90km and we managed to get out and about and see her on the route!
It's only 4.5weeks til we go back again and we can't wait!  When my lottery ticket comes in I think I will be looking for a wee apartment/retiral home out there...

Monday, 28 May 2018

Am I going to Die? (no not yet)

Imagine the scenario it's the middle of the night, you're so far North it never actually got dark last night and you have a wee fire burning to welcome runners as they run down the hill towards you. A car stops, a runner has DNF'd at the previous CP and his wife has picked him up and driving him back to their hotel. They wind the window down and I lean in to speak to them, "there's a runner about a mile up the road, she's being sick lots and says she's vomiting blood" - ok thanks - (heart sinks slightly as yes you have your outdoor first aid certificate but I don't think it covered vomiting blood other than that's pretty darn serious - and remember we're in the middle of nowhere)
About 10 minutes later the runner appears, head torch bobbing as she runs down to the CP, slowing to a walk as I go out to meet her... "you okay?" There's a genuine petted lip trembling slightly as she shakes her head "no" was the pitiful response... "I keep being sick and it's horrible, there's loads of bits of blaeberries and then it's like dark blood" - blaeberries?  I ask her to confirm that's what she said, "yeah" - it was hard not to laugh out loud and I tried not to sound too incredulous as I said "ok let's get you over here and you can sit down and we can check you over."
Seated in the camping chair she's lucid, bright eyed and really happy to see us, telling us how pleased she is to see us "I love you guys!" then in the next breath she asks "am I going to die?"  We did laugh out loud at that point!
John asks her lots of questions, all of which elicit a rapid fire response, I have seen this particular lady in a far less lucid state on a couple of occasions and in my opinion, she's in pretty good shape.  She wasn't the first runner to arrive with us 60 miles in to a really tough race who had been sick - it sort of goes with the territory, you're pretty wiped, you've not got much left in reserve and your body is too tired to process what you do put in so tends to eject it fairly rapidly after it's been eaten/drunk.  Anyway back to said runner we were tending to, after we agreed she was in pretty good nick and she'd drunk a can of pink fizzy lucozade and eaten a banana and we had managed to reassure her that she wasn't going to die, at least not at this point in time, her friends appeared in their van and one of them agreed to run to the finish with her.  This lifted her spirits, she announced she would "just have a quick pee behind the van then we'll get away" and off they went heading into the darkness.
Jeni is an amazing lady, a damn good runner who has struggled in the past with nutrition but is working on strategies - just not blaeberries!! - or if you must, then remember they look like blood on the way back up :D
Thank you for giving us the best laugh of the night Jeni after giving us probably the only wee fright that we might have a medical issue that couldn't be cured by a wee bit of tough love and a mtfu pill - believe in yourself, we all believe in you and you were AWSUM!
(photos with kind permission of and credit to Jeni Rees-Jenkins)

She did It!

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Un Aventure Tres Grand!

A few months ago - October 2017 to be precise, John and I set off on the biggest adventure of our lives... I have been waiting for him to finish his write up before I wrote anything at all about it from my side.  Here is his version of the race of his/our lifetime and now that it's done, I will maybe try to put some of my version together.  Enjoy!!

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Catching up

It's been a wee while since I was last here - 2 months** and a fair bit has happened in that time.  I tried once more and failed once more to complete the WHW race at the end of June.  I had trained hard for this and felt confident that although I'd be one of the last finishers and would be pushing the cutoffs at least in the early stages, I was in the right place physically and mentally to make it to Fort William.  39miles in, the path gave way and I slipped - feet first towards the loch!  It all happened really quickly and I instinctively turned my body towards the wall of rock and grabbed for a handhold!  Luckily I got one so didn't end up making a big splash!  I climbed back up onto the path, a bit shaken but determined to keep going, I felt like I had a dead leg and it slowed me down more than I wanted which meant that I didn't make the cutoff at Beinglas Farm :-(  I was absolutely devastated and sore, I still feel badly about my selfless and amazing support crew and everyone else who was wishing me well and wanting to see me make it...
sorry xx
I was lucky that the weather was kind to me and the biblical rain and gales didn't come in until about an hour after I'd stopped.  Then boy did it come in!  I will confess to lying in bed at 0230 listening to the storms raging and offering up a wee prayer of thanks that I wasn't out in it!  Utmost respect to those who were and ultimately yes, I would rather have been there too.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me with their best wishes since then too, you know who you are and it means a lot.
My next goal is Loch Ness marathon at the end of September so it's been right back into training and was really enjoying it and ticking of the workouts until Friday morning when I was almost finished my hill-reps and 'ouch' it felt like someone had stabbed me in the back of my right ankle!  A very painful and numb ankle for the rest of the day gradually easing off over the weekend.  I tried to run a little on Sunday but only got 1.2miles done before it was really aching again, then last night I set off to run home from work and 1.8 miles in I got stabbed again :-(
We had massage sessions booked for last night so I got plenty of work done on my legs and specifically my ankle, ouchy but helped with the movement so hoping after another couple of rest days I will be back on the trails at the weekend.
Since WHW, we have marshalled at the Great Glen Ultra and the Clyde Stride, in between we have been exploring the Southern Upland Way, St Cuthbert's Way and a little of the Borders Abbey Way, all good fun.  This weekend we are off on a Mystery Tour, then it's the Devil of the Higlands a weekend off Speyside Way, then off to Chamonix for another adventure.
** UPDATE - it's now mid September!!
I had saved this as a draft at the end of July and never got back to's probably not worth publishing it but hey ho I'll stick it on the list and think about the next one :)
Our Mystery Tour was fun, as was the Devil, Speyside and our trip to Chamonix.  I am going to try to write a little about that while it's still fresh in my mind and before we head off on the next Grand Adventure!
I am currently on the injury bench though not technically injured, just enforced rest to try to let me body recover from the after effects of a particularly nasty virus which floored me for the month of August and won't be running at Loch Ness - so I will be climbing the walls shortly!

Sunday, 28 May 2017

Clocking up the miles...

On Friday 3rd of March at 1430 John and I picked up our latest acquisition, our brand new wee motorhome - it had to be wee so that it could a) go the places we want to go and b) fit on our driveway.  The Eldiss Autoquest 115 fitted the bill perfectly and apart from the fact that the upholstery is totally impractical for manky runners - a beautiful light grey and blue - it has been the best purchase ever!  We have already over 2500 miles on it, but it has helped me to clock up the miles in my training calendar this year and really reduced the logistical stresses.  This weekend for example, my run was to be Milngavie to Balmaha, we've had a week of fabulous weather with hot temperatures and non stop sunshine, and I was wanting to get the run started early so that I could be finished by lunchtime and hopefully benefit from cooler temperatures in the earlier part of the day, so we drove through to Milngavie on Friday night and stayed over.  This meant I had time to have a leisurely breakfast and my usual ablutions and still be on the trails by 0650.  The hope it would be cooler was a tad forlorn though as it was in the 20s already!! It was a roasting hot run, by the time I got to Conic Hill the sky had clouded over a little which was a welcome respite from the sunshine beating down but it didn't really get much cooler... The thermometer on the dash was showing 26C

I enjoyed my run, I achieved what I'd been tasked to do, I know where I can hopefully shave off a few more minutes, but I started on a very empty tank as the past too weeks have been physically and mentally hard and I was very very tired.  There were tears at the finish, I was so delighted to have got there in time!

After a quick shower - another luxury of having the van!  We headed off up the road to Aviemore to spend the night with Clark and Amanda and celebrate Amanda's birthday, there was champagne, nice food and a few laughs then another run today - so all in all a good weekend!  Good running, good people, good fun, good food, good champagne!  There is a lot of shit going on in my life at the moment, which for now will remain close to only a very few, but suffice to say a good weekend was exactly what I needed and yes I know we could have done the same miles in the car  but the van has just added another dimension to it all!  There's a lot to be said for the hashtag #vanlife 💕👧🚐

Sunday, 30 April 2017

We are Muitants!

This year's MIUT race series' tag line asks "Do you dare?"  We dared!

I always thought that Madeira was where old people went for holidays in the style of the TV show "Waiting for God" in they sun.  Having spent a week there, it probably is a fair assessment of this lump of rock in the Atlantic Ocean but it is also a place of raw almost primeval beauty, covered in lush forest and flowers.

John is notorious for finding races which are a wee bit out of the ordinary and he signed up for the full MIUT (115km 7000m of climb) and convinced me that I would 'be fine' on the Marathon (44km and 1200m climb) so I signed up for it as I was going anyway...
We booked into a lovely hotel from the Monday before the race and enjoyed a few days of proper rest and relaxation with luxurious surroundings, good food and the occasional glass of fizz.  EasyJet got us to the recently renamed Cristiano Ronaldo airport in Funchal at 7pm and we disembarked into glorious sunshine and a welcome temperature of 22°C - this was an unexpected bonus as the long range forecast was for overcast, showery but warm.
Our pre booked driver was waiting in arrivals with a card with our name on and after a slightly scary drive we arrived at our hotel, checked in to our lovely big room and headed to one of the restaurants for dinner.
I had booked massages for us for the Tuesday morning so after a long lie and a leisurely breakfast we spent the rest of the morning getting scrubbed and pummelled from top to toe.  It fairly took the flight out of our bodies and left us feeling relaxed.  I had a 5 mile run programmed for Tuesday so we set out about 3pm in scorching sunshine and a strong headwind - I asked at hotel reception if we could run along the coast into Funchal, no said the young chap, but you can run in the other direction so we ran along away from town, but after only a mile or so we had reached the end of the runnable path and turned back - John ran on ahead from there and we went different routes but I got my five miles done. 

Race registration opened on Wednesday morning so we had a trip on the local buses to Machico, the original capital of Madeira and home of the MIUT.  It's a lovely wee traditional fishing village nestled where the narrow glacial valley opens into the sea.  We were in about the first 10 runners to register and apart from the computer refusing to printout John's paperwork it was a quick and efficient process.
It was a gloriously hot sunny morning, so after we had picked up our packets, we wandered along to the old fish hall which is now a restaurant for a cooling refreshment and a seat in the sun watching the sea.  We tried to work out where the course might come into the town and had a walk up to the old fort on the headland but found no evidence of where the path would come out, then had a paddle in the sea and wander along the beach before going back to the same restaurant for a delicious lunch of fresh fish.  Caught the bus back to Funchal, did a wee bit of touristy stuff (expensive ice cream and a visit to the cathedral) and then headed back to our hotel.  

We planned to have a feet-up day on Thursday so after a 4mile trot down to Funchal and back, we showered had breakfast, then booked a deep tissue massage for the afternoon.  A lazy few hours hours reading/dozing by/in the pool before our appointments.  It was well named Deep Tissue it certainly was!  Legs felt good afterwards though.
Friday morning- another bright sunny morning - John's race day so we hopped on the open top bus tour, we didn't hop off until almost back at our hotel where we went to a nearby restaurant for the most awesome steak I've ever tasted!   John had his kit all organised and I did mine while he snoozed then we went to get him an early dinner, he was meeting Craig at 8pm and they were sharing a taxi to the race start

After the boys left I went for a drink with Craig's wife Annemarie and their two daughters then it was time for me to go and do last minute checks of my kit and settle in for the night. I was a bit nervous about getting myself up and out in morning so set three alarms but was awake before them!  I was able to get the tracking working and could see that John & Craig had made it safely through the second checkpoint which was the worst of their climbing in the dark done and as the sun was coming up I felt a little happier about them
I had a taxi booked for 8am so got organised and tried to eat some scrambled eggs, I felt incredibly nervous but still not sure if that was pre race nerves or just the logistics of getting to the start myself, however taxi was on time - early - and I got dropped off at the bus meeting point as the first few runners were gathering.  I was on the first bus and it was just under an hour's drive to the start.  The race started in an Ecological Park and we were dropped off on a narrow road and walked back about 1/4 mile to where the start was setup.  It was very well organised with baggage trucks, portal loos, start line and music, I found a shady rock and settled down to eat my second breakfast I'd brought with me and sort my shoes, bag etc... the place filled up as more buses disgorged runners and after a last Q for the Loo it was time to get her in the pen with the crazy DJ rocking his stuff!
11am and we were off, running slowly down a gentle incline before a sharp left turn and the first of the UPs! 2 miles of climbing interspersed with some short bits of running, a wee bottleneck to cross a rickety bridge and then we were up on a flat bit, did my legs want to run? Did they heck! Eventually the shuffle became more of a run and I trotted along until the next climb.  Up and Up we went again, eventually topping out and then managing a run down to the road crossing, counted in by marshals and off again at a trot til the first of the log steps and first levada.
I was about 4.5miles in at this point when I heard footsteps behind me and a Giblinesque figure of one of the fast runners in the MIUT came flying down the trail, I stepped aside to let him pass and this would be the first of many times I'd do this!
Soon it was into the forest which had been burned in large forest fires a few years ago, the silver trunks still blackened and the new growth underneath distracted me from the relentless dusty trail with runable downs and steep, scrambly climbs.
post forest fire
 At about 12.2km was my first checkpoint, a village hall set up with first aid, toilets, a fab array of food and drink and cheery helpful marshals, I didn't hang about, I visited the loo, had a drink of Pepsi and water then off up the road until a policewoman waved us onto the track again. More good running trail, more log steps(!) then more of a 'tourist/walkers' bit where there were people out walking looking at us like we were mad! Soon  it was next checkpoint, another well run operation, more coke & water, a quick pee and a text to Amanda telling her that it was "F***ing hardest thing ever but Awesome!"  Now, when leaving checkpoints there was a board which told you how far to next checkpoint and what the cumulative ascent and descent was for this stage, I still don't know how I missed it but I can't remember what it said the ascent was but even if I'd seen it I would have no clue as to just how tough it was! The climb up from the road was just that, straight up a hillside, no really distinct path, no stones, the occasional tree root and nowhere to step aside to let folk pass!  Fortunately nobody was climbing any faster than me so I didn't hold anyone up.  However, what goes up has to come down, at least  that's what I kept reminding myself!  Eventually yes it did - down lots more LOG STEPS!  Checkpoint 3 and I was 18 miles in, I left here with a real skip in my step, the sun was out, it was early evening and I could hear the surf crashing against the foot of the cliffs.  A view down to the finish was a tad cruel given that there were still 10 miles to go, but I fairly skipped out of here grinning and singing to myself "you got this!"  A family was parked at the top of the hill cheering and blowing horns and drinking beer, a wee sip of the beer was like nectar and really boosted my mood, so I ran along the trail until eventually I came to the cliff paths.  The views ahead - I didn't dare look down - were amazing, the surf was crashing and the trails were pretty good, even the scary bits! Talking of scary bits!! On the reach description there was mention of a technical downhill about 5 miles from finish - understatement!! It was extremely scary, extremely steep and with only a couple of rickety wooden handrails and lots of bits with no handrails which could have benefited from them!  Eventually we were back on a decent trail, it was starting to get dark but not dark enough to need my head torch and as we approached the town we were back on more levadas, accompanied by the barking of dogs - it was like the scene in Lady and the Tramp where the dogs communicate across Paris by barking in sequence.  This cacophony rang all the way down the valley however we didn't, we stayed right up at the top! A long way up! Eventually the last checkpoint on a road into town, but guess what? You don't go that way, you cross the road and follow more levadas along the top of the hill for another couple of miles.  I put my head torch on here and there was a lot of stepping aside to let speedy blokes past, but then we were back out onto a road again and I thought 'yes' nice wee gentle run down the road to the finish.. wrong again, it was off down a slippery, grassy hillside then onto  some concrete steps and out onto the road at last!  Along the promenade, over the wooden bridge, running and feeling strong, and grinning like a Cheshire Cat!  Awesome support from cheering crowds and kids hanging over the barriers for high 5s!  I felt really strong but tired and ran the whole way in, I was so pleased!!  
Super Cheesey Grin!!
Crossed the finish line to get a microphone stuck in my face and I can remember answering his questions and thinking at the same time, am I making any sense?  Anyway, that's a 'brief' resume of my amazing adventure, I got my bag, a beer and some food then sat and waited for John finishing his...

As I read write this, a week on, I am still bursting with pride at what I was able to achieve, I wasn't ever going to be fast but I ran every single bit of the trail that I could and I dealt with some pretty scary stuff!  My legs, my heart and my lungs did me proud!  I'm now trying to shake off the lurgy I picked up on the very delayed flight home!!